Pillows & Blankets

I was wary of the way Jobeth was described at first— a sort of macho lesbian who touts NRA rhetoric, likes ridiculously conspicuous (for a detective) cars and helps a pedophile who's being blackmailed by a (quoting our dear hero) "bimbo madame". This isn't strictly a romance, considering our love interest has little characterization and is mostly there to be fallen in love with, and it isn't strictly a mystery novel, considering how little mystery there is and how that part of the plot only seems to advance through the WORST UNBELIEVABLE DEUS EX MACHINA EVER (And I do mean EVER).

What separates this book from others though, is how impossibly, burst-in-laughter bad, are the sex scenes. Never has anyone managed to make lesbian sex look like some lovecraftian eldritch horror sex so well. Hold on to something because I'm going to QUOTE

Context : She's being fingered on the backseat of her car and suddenly, great orgasm.
"The sensation seemed eternal, and I could only allow it to continue, witless and debilitated. I fell from the black hole into the ocean— became the ocean; while a legion of tentacles filled my bones, writhing, pulsing, as I made guttural noises that were alien coming from my own throat"

You know your orgasm is great when it ruptures the very fabric of reality and that Cthulhu comes to give you a cuni.